First Dance


  Since day one you have been the perfect little "work helper".  You have been patient with your Momma as I have spent hours and hours at my desk editing wedding films.  Sometimes you like to sit and watch while I hold you in my arms, but mostly you lay on the floor and wait for the frequent breaks that I take to cuddle and play with you.

  The most recent wedding film that I just finished brought back a great memory and I wanted to share it with you.  Two months before you were born, I was at this wedding filming the groom dance with his mother.  While I went around filming from every angle, the photographer that we were shooting with, who also has a son, came and stood next to me and leaned over and said, "This part of the wedding always makes me cry.  I can't wait for the day that I can dance with my son at his wedding!".  I paused and watched the mother-son dance while tears filled my eyes and I contemplated what dancing with you would be like.  What kind of journeys we would take in our lives until we could share that first dance on the dance floor at your wedding.

  Beau, the other night you were not wanting to go to sleep, so you lay there with your eyes wide open staring at the ceiling and kicking your legs like crazy.  I came in and crawled over to the side of the car seat (Where you have been sleeping because you have had a chest cold), and I sat and stared at you.  I then gently picked you up and we had our first dance right there in my bedroom.  I sang, you rested your head on my chest, and we danced in circles until you fell sound asleep in my arms.

  Beau, I love you more than words can say and more than I can physically show you.  Nothing in this world has brought me so much joy and I am in constant amazement when it comes to you.  I could look at you for hours and never tire.  You are the beginning to a life that I never knew I was craving.

  Little one, until the day comes that I can dance with you at your wedding, I hope that we can share many more dances together in the comfort of each others arms.

Love you my little bug

Love, Momma.

Those Eyes

Those eyes.

Oh those eyes!

You love exploring this big world with those big blue eyes and I feel so blessed to witness you learn.  We have placed mobiles and toys in front of you since about the second week but you would "look through" them as if they weren't even there.  Well that pondering has begun and you can stare at a mobile for a good 10 minutes (2-3 hours in Beau time!).

On your swing there is a mirror that you can look into and I just sat at my desk for the last while listening to you coo and giggle at the little image that you saw reflecting back at you. This makes your mama's heart melt every time.

Sometimes (meaning just about every time now) when I burp you, you prop your feet on my legs and straighten your legs so that you are standing. Then you lift your head up off of my shoulder and swing your head from side to side enjoying every little thing your eyes land on.

Tonight was a special time and I had another moment that I sat and pondered on the old spirit that is inside of you.  You have waited so long to come to this earth and to get this perfect little body, and I get to watch you explore this world. Finally! I wonder how long we have known each other.  I wonder if I told you before I came down that I would see you in 26 1/2 years.  I wonder if you said "goodbye" to your future brothers and sisters and you promised them that you would pave the way for them.  I wonder what goals you made with your Heavenly Father before he released you into my arms.  Oh the things I wonder and that wondering begins when I look into your perfect eyes that connect me with your soul.

Love you Beau man.

Love, Mama.